THE SURPRISE IS VAMPRAVES; KAKUMEIKI VALVRAVE EPISODE 5

It’s that time of the week again, boys and girls! This week on Valvrave: the legitimization of Kickstarter, the realities of sexual intercourse, and musicals! (sort of)

When we last left our heroes, the friendly yet weirdly sinister pseudo-USA conglomerate ARUS betrayed Haruto and his friends, attempting to commandeer the Valvrave for their own purposes. In addition, L-Elf offered his services to Haruto in order to bring down his homeland and ARUS’s rival, Dorssia. But rather than support ARUS or L-Elf, Haruto instead offered his services to Shoko, who in one grand gesture transformed their school into an independent nation. Will the power of the Valvrave be enough to keep the students safe from not one, but two corrupt governments? On that note, can a piece of a Dyson sphere torn adrift from the central star actually survive for prolonged periods of time? Not only the lives of Haruto and his friends, but the rules of science itself are at stake!

Again, you can vote on your favorite moment of the episode below! Here are our choices.

1. Our first glimpse of Haruto and Shoko’s new independent nation: Shoko holding out her arm and leveling an entire aisle of cup ramen. “I always wanted to try that!” she says. Granted that’s totally what an anime character would do if their school happened to declare independence, but I guess we should be glad that Shoko appears to be more of a Simon than a Rossiu?

I feel like this is something that came out of Home Alone.

Special Delinquent Shoko!

2. This is a pretty minor part of the episode, but I found it hilarious that what are apparently the otaku of Haruto’s high school drew a giant scantily-clad moe girl on the school grounds in chalk. Again, I dunno if anybody in real life would do something like this, but if an anime character found that his or her school declared independence, I’m willing to bet that is totally what they’d do. Let’s hope that their new society won’t go down the same route as the immortal Infinite Ryvius or the equally immortal(ly terrible) Guilty Crown...oh wait, it probably will. Well, I hope they enjoy their happiness while it lasts!

AW YEAH MATURITY!

3. BREAKING NEWS! As draggle helpfully pointed out on his blog, the home base of Dorssia, land of the space Nazis, is modeled after the Vatican. Whoever came up with this show is either an idiot, a genius or a very drunk genius (more likely a combination of all three.)

Ingenius.

4. Our other heroine, Saki, argues with one of the heads of the Student Council and then bites her on the arm shortly after. This seems like a total non-sequitur until you realize that she’s just checking to see if she’s contracted Haruto’s vampirism, at which point everything makes sense! Kind of. Haruto’s been pretty bland so far, but thus far Valvrave’s been the rare show where both main heroines have a lot to commend them, from Shoko’s stage presence to Saki’s brains and genre savviness.

Why Can’t I Become A Vampire, Sexy Yuri Fanservice in the Dark, and other novels

5. The music video this episode was amazing. If Valvrave is a series about giant robots and social media, which has so far referenced everything from Twitter to Facebook, then the school’s music video is the equivalent of one of those Youtube videos that pop up in Tumblr in which an entire town goes on parade and lip-synchs to popular music, or something. You know the one. Saki’s hilarious Engrish was also a plus. “I know you are hero in your life~”

I don’t even know anymore

At least it’s 10x better than whatever Glee could do!

6. Haruto and friends crowd-fund their mecha through Kickstarter. Let’s say that again: Haruto and friends crowdfunded their mecha through Kickstarter. This is it, this is ANIME OF THE FUTURE! If crowdfunding giant robots does not become a thing on future anime, then I personally will be very upset. This shit is genius, man. Also, I guess this would break the records that Torment: Tides of Numeria set?

It’s over NINE THOUSAND!!!! More successful than Kickheart itself! After all, what lies beyond 666? POSSIBILITY.

7. Saki and Haruto kiss each other for the first time, while inside of Haruto’s giant robot. The mysterious A.I. asks if this is what is called sexual intercourse. DUN DUN DUNNNNN

LE SHOCKER SURPRISE

You ain’t seen nothing yet, Valvrave UI Girl

SPECIAL MOMENT OF THE WEEK:

I don’t care if you’re trying to pull off an Infinite Ryvius moment Haruto, that doesn’t give you an excuse to peek at a girl’s skirt.

ELECTRIFYING BONUS CHALLENGE: Sing along with Saki’s song in the comments. Bonus points if you record a video of yourself singing said song and link to it. Linking to other people singing said song is okay too I guess.