THE SURPRISE IS VAMPRAVES; Kakumeiki Valvrave Episode 3

Valvrave_the_Liberator_-_03_[BE1ED705]_Apr 29, 2013 10.38.20 PM

Let’s talk VALVRAVE, ladies and gentlemen. This week: prophecy, a one-man army and Haruto, model citizen! All together now! L-ELFFFFFFFF

When we last left our heroes, Haruto had taken out an army of mechas sent by Fake Germany in his Giant Japanese Robot (also he turned into a body-switching vampire or something.) He decides not to confess to Shouko at the last moment because he’s a monster, also it’s only the second episode of the anime and they have to fit that love triangle in there somewhere. Meanwhile L-Elf is ingloriously captured by his own forces. What is the secret of the world?

DISCLAIMER: In case our previous post didn’t make this clear enough, I think it’s worth reiterating that Natasha and I unabashedly love Valvrave and everything it represents (though Steven isn’t a big fan.) We compared the show to Guilty Crown last time, but in the long run I think that Valvrave is a much healthier production – I couldn’t shake the feeling after a certain point while watching Guilty Crown that either the staff didn’t give a shit or that they actively hated the production, the story and every character in it, but Valvrave gives me none of those vibes. Obviously the show is totally nuts and not “objectively” good by a long measure, but there’s just enough self-awareness for me to think the creators are actively having fun with us rather than vomiting out product. We wouldn’t be writing these posts up if we didn’t enjoy Valvrave, so rest assured that we’re all more than a little fond of the thing.

Without further ado, here’s a list of the moments we believe were most representative of the craziness the show had to offer us this week. Make sure to vote down at the bottom of the post!

1. Let’s get this straight…the political crisis at the heart of Valvrave comes down to the peaceful, independent pseudo-Japan sandwiched between the warring groups of pseudo-United States and pseudo-Germany. It’s the kind of revisionist history that is probably only possible in anime and B-movies, but that’s okay because Valvrave’s made it clear up to this point that by no means are we supposed to take it seriously. That said – come on everyone! If more people would just go and follow Japan’s lead than the world would obviously be a far more peaceful place than it is.

Because we haven’t seen THIS sort of situation before, Code Geas- I mean, what

2. This week’s frustratingly vague prophecy brought to you by L-Elf. I’m not sure how it is that L-Elf somehow has the ability to predict the future, but I suppose it’s better not to look a gift horse in the mouth! I loved how the prophecy was weirdly specific as “you will be carrying a mic in your hands” or something like it. How did he know?!? I sense a coming plot twist.

THE MYSTERY OF PI????? First 666, now Pi, they’re going to do the Golden Rule next.

3. THE SURPRISE IS VAMPRAVES! For real, this time. Up to this point the v-word has remained unspoken, but in this episode somebody finally let it slip. Part of me was wondering whether Valvrave would treat you-know-what in the same way that Shaun of the Dead treated zombies, but I suppose that we can now put those fears to rest. Though part of me wonders what properties these things have in the Valvrave universe. We know they can swap bodies by biting people, but do they suck blood? Hypnotize?  Sparkle? (Also worth noticing: it is possible to de-vamp people by slapping them in the face.)

Why just have fangs when you can have ZIG ZAG MARKS ALL OVER YOUR FACE

4. In case you needed reminding, L-Elf is a total badass. Not only does he take out an entire room of armed soldiers while tied to a chair with a screw, but he then proceeds to take on JIOR’s armed forces by himself by setting up traps and explosives across the school in probably less than fifteen minutes. One-man army is an understatement!

METAL GEAR L-ELF GO

You’re not a one man army if you can’t MAGICALLY BLOW UP EVERY PLANE THAT COMES TOWARD YOU!!!

MIRACULOUSLY HAS POWER OVER THE ENTIRE DECK’S DOOR CONTROLS WITH THE TOUCH OF HIS FINGER!

5. Haruto, the boy with over three hundred thousand friends. Haruto, beloved student of the people. Haruto, model citizen. Do your duty as a peon of pseudo-Japan and maybe, one day, you’ll become as good a citizen as Haruto! Then you too may have over three hundred thousand friends (though you might need a giant robot to pull it off.)

You’ve made over 700 friends, Harry Potter! Or Katniss Everdeen! Take your pick.

Look Ma! I even made the news!

6. “My name is L-Elf. Make a contract with me and become a giant-robot piloting pseudovampire…of the Rebellion!

Because We Haven’t Seen This Sort of Thing Before, Part 2

ELECTRIFYING BONUS CHALLENGE: Where does Haruto fit in the tradition of vampirism? Is he a “real” vampire, an Anne Rice vampire, a Twilight-style vampire or not actually a vampire? Let us know in the comments!

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